When I was in high school I often fasted from desserts during Lent. I'm not sure what first got me interested in it since it wasn't really a Mennonite thing, but for some reason, I found that it was meaningful to me. If nothing else, the discipline it required was good for me.
I haven't fasted from anything during Lent for years, but this year, my brother asked me if I was going to and so I decided to avoid Facebook. I found myself getting sucked into it: it's fun to see what others are up to, check out their pictures, etc. But being home some much, I really felt like I began wasting time, and was having a difficult time limiting myself.
What does this have to do with "mommy blogs?" Well, did you ever realize how many are out there? I don't think I really know, but I've spent more time looking at them since I'm not on facebook. I've realized that there are two sides to this virtual world. The one is that I can find a tutorial on most any crafty, sewing, crocheting related item that I'm interested in knowing how to make. That's been a really helpful thing, in fact.
But I also realized a down side to looking at all these mommy blogs. They can really encourage discontentment and envy. Or maybe a better way of putting that is to say that I found those emotions churning inside me. It's not really the fault of the bloggers. It's how I react to what I see and read. For some reason, reading about someone's life or accomplishments online brought out these feelings in me. I'd see some lives that looked so "together" (and yes, I know that's just a myth, but it's still hard to not think some people achieve it, so there must be something wrong with me because I haven't) and then feel bad about my own.
I really enjoy the creativity that is enabled by checking out others' blogs, and the heartfelt postings that are shared, and keeping up with all the random happenings of friends, but I realized that reading random blogs (basically ones where I don't know the writer) can also become caustic if my attitude and heart aren't in the right place.
So it's been an interesting journey.
Friday, April 1, 2011
I haven't felt overly sad that he's no longer officially an infant and that his baby days are behind him. I feel like he's been a toddler for a while now. But I did get a little teary-eyed last night at bedtime when I was hugging him after we sang his goodnight song and I was about to put him in his bed. I was remembering that I was in labor at that time last year, more than half out-of-it due to contractions (but I must admit, I don't mind that I was so out-of-it: I think it made time feel as if it didn't count so much, and I certainly wasn't bored), and working so hard to bring him into this world. I had no idea who this little baby was going to be. Is it funny that I'm still amazed that my body birthed him? I look at him and am in awe.
So I reread my post from last year in order to reminisce a little, thought about details I didn't post, and thought about how different life is now than it was one year ago.
However, we met up with my in-laws for lunch today and Edwin did have his first candle - in a blueberry muffin that he definitely enjoyed.