Thursday, April 7, 2011

Two Sides to Mommy Blogs

When I was in high school I often fasted from desserts during Lent. I'm not sure what first got me interested in it since it wasn't really a Mennonite thing, but for some reason, I found that it was meaningful to me. If nothing else, the discipline it required was good for me.

I haven't fasted from anything during Lent for years, but this year, my brother asked me if I was going to and so I decided to avoid Facebook. I found myself getting sucked into it: it's fun to see what others are up to, check out their pictures, etc. But being home some much, I really felt like I began wasting time, and was having a difficult time limiting myself.

What does this have to do with "mommy blogs?" Well, did you ever realize how many are out there? I don't think I really know, but I've spent more time looking at them since I'm not on facebook. I've realized that there are two sides to this virtual world. The one is that I can find a tutorial on most any crafty, sewing, crocheting related item that I'm interested in knowing how to make. That's been a really helpful thing, in fact.

But I also realized a down side to looking at all these mommy blogs. They can really encourage discontentment and envy. Or maybe a better way of putting that is to say that I found those emotions churning inside me. It's not really the fault of the bloggers. It's how I react to what I see and read. For some reason, reading about someone's life or accomplishments online brought out these feelings in me. I'd see some lives that looked so "together" (and yes, I know that's just a myth, but it's still hard to not think some people achieve it, so there must be something wrong with me because I haven't) and then feel bad about my own.

I really enjoy the creativity that is enabled by checking out others' blogs, and the heartfelt postings that are shared, and keeping up with all the random happenings of friends, but I realized that reading random blogs (basically ones where I don't know the writer) can also become caustic if my attitude and heart aren't in the right place.

So it's been an interesting journey.

Friday, April 1, 2011

April 1st Revisited

We're celebrating Edwin's 1st year of life!

I haven't felt overly sad that he's no longer officially an infant and that his baby days are behind him. I feel like he's been a toddler for a while now. But I did get a little teary-eyed last night at bedtime when I was hugging him after we sang his goodnight song and I was about to put him in his bed. I was remembering that I was in labor at that time last year, more than half out-of-it due to contractions (but I must admit, I don't mind that I was so out-of-it: I think it made time feel as if it didn't count so much, and I certainly wasn't bored), and working so hard to bring him into this world. I had no idea who this little baby was going to be. Is it funny that I'm still amazed that my body birthed him? I look at him and am in awe.

So I reread my post from last year in order to reminisce a little, thought about details I didn't post, and thought about how different life is now than it was one year ago.

However, we met up with my in-laws for lunch today and Edwin did have his first candle - in a blueberry muffin that he definitely enjoyed.

Thanks to all of you who thought of him today and sent birthday greetings!