April 1st Revisited

We're celebrating Edwin's 1st year of life!

I haven't felt overly sad that he's no longer officially an infant and that his baby days are behind him. I feel like he's been a toddler for a while now. But I did get a little teary-eyed last night at bedtime when I was hugging him after we sang his goodnight song and I was about to put him in his bed. I was remembering that I was in labor at that time last year, more than half out-of-it due to contractions (but I must admit, I don't mind that I was so out-of-it: I think it made time feel as if it didn't count so much, and I certainly wasn't bored), and working so hard to bring him into this world. I had no idea who this little baby was going to be. Is it funny that I'm still amazed that my body birthed him? I look at him and am in awe.

So I reread my post from last year in order to reminisce a little, thought about details I didn't post, and thought about how different life is now than it was one year ago.

However, we met up with my in-laws for lunch today and Edwin did have his first candle - in a blueberry muffin that he definitely enjoyed.

Thanks to all of you who thought of him today and sent birthday greetings!

Not Just the Nanny Anymore

I was a full-time nanny for over a year before beginning college and then again for a summer towards the end of college. The youngest child in each family was around a year old when I started nannying, so I've always felt familiar with children once they reach the year mark. Last spring when Edwin was born, I remember thinking that the newborn/infant stage was totally unfamiliar territory, and if he had been born at a year, then I'd feel like I knew what I was doing.

Now that he's almost a year old, and he's beginning to do some of the same things I remember my charges doing, I keep having nanny flashbacks. They're good. I can reassure you on that point. Both my nanny experiences were positive - both families were great to work for and I loved the kids.

But it's kind of funny, interesting, etc, that Edwin isn't my first toddler experience. When I see how much he likes dogs, I remember being able to distract Baby J in the car while trying to keep him awake by mentioning dogs. And when Edwin seems to be getting into everything, I think: "I don't remember Baby J getting into stuff all the time." Or when I found a t-shirt with a back-hoe on it, I remember the cute shirts Baby J wore that had trucks, tractors, and back-hoes on them.

Edwin just started trying to pick up food using a fork and spoon, and I remember Baby L using a fork and spoon (or at least holding onto one while picking up food with the other hand).

It's been a fun way to reminisce. Those babies are no longer babies, and I look at pictures of them (or when I see them in person), I can hardly believe they are as grown up as they are.

And what's even greater, is that I'm not Edwin's nanny. I'm his mom. His number one favorite person (or maybe #2, if Dan beats me out on that position) for right now.

Why We Like Spring

I recently cleaned up our garden and started getting it ready for planting. As a result, Edwin got to have some time to play in our back "yard" (We have no grass, just a deck, patio and a square of dirt for gardening.).

Discovering dirt

Yesterday it was 75 degrees out, so we ate supper outside. While I was getting it ready, Edwin got to spend some more time puttering around.

I think he's going to be a first-rate gardener.

(One of) My Latest Project(s)

I decided to unravel a cashmere (yes, cashmere!!) sweater that I didn't wear at all this year and use the yarn for something else. I'd bought it at a thrift store, so I didn't feel bad about taking it apart. After watching an online tutorial, I got started.

Yarn from one arm.

All the yarn

Wetting the yarn in order to get the kinks out.

It kind of worked. It's not kink-free, but it's good enough for me to crochet with.

My problem now it making sure I have it wrapped well enough as it dries so that it doesn't become tangled while I crochet. I haven't perfected that skill yet, so with each little bit I've used, I have spent some time untangling the yarn.

Meal Musings

(What Edwin does while I cook)

A while ago I posted about my decision to have a weekly schedule of sorts where major housekeeping tasks were designated for certain days of the week. Along with that burst of organization, I've also been more intentional about meal planning. I've been menu planning the day before I grocery shop, and it makes grocery shopping much nicer. I need that focus when shopping. Plus, when I go to make the meal, I have everything I need. Most of the time.

I'm not some one who lists cooking as one of my top hobbies, so sometime during the fall I started getting a little weary when trying to figure out what to cook for supper. I cook a lot more now than I did when Dan and I were first married and living in Baltimore (part of that is because we were part of a 2x per week dinner club - which was wonderful, to say the least), so I started thinking that I needed to expand my repertoire of meals.

I asked for some "Moosewood" cookbooks for Christmas and got two. (Some other dinner club members in Baltimore often used Moosewood cookbooks for some pretty spectacular meals, which is how I heard of them.) If you're not familiar with Moosewood cookbooks, and you like vegetarian food, you should check these out. There are a bunch of different ones to choose from.

I now have the Low Fat Favorites and the New Moosewood Cookbook. I've been using them a lot and am having fun with new recipes.

Dan also gave me a bread book by Bernard Clayton and it has just about any kind of bread you'd ever want to make. Just as exciting are the directions for making an outdoor clay/brick oven for baking bread. If we weren't renting, I'd be really tempted to make one. I always think it's too hot in the summer to bake, but if I had an outdoor oven...

Anyway, I'm excited about new meal options, lots of bread options and dreaming of someday baking bread in an outdoor oven!

Edwin looked pretty cute as he was playing with a dump truck this afternoon so I thought I'd try a snap a few pictures. You can see for yourself how successful I was.

All he really wanted was the camera. So we settled for a picture together.

But what's really been on my mind today is my frustration with my lack of control when it comes to feeling nervous whenever my blood pressure is taken. Remember when I posted about having "white coat syndrome" while pregnant? Well, it's basically hung around. Now I find myself getting nervous just thinking about having my blood pressure taken. Two doctor visits post-delivery included nervousness and high readings. And I even had Dan take it last night because I wanted to see how it would be, and I found myself getting nervous, and it was a bit high.

I'd hoped it would all disappear after Edwin's birth. Well, it hasn't. It seems like it's here to stay, and it makes me feel ridiculous and as though I'm "failing" in some way. (I try to be perfect, you know. Or at least appear perfect.) Blood pressure is one of those things they worry about when you're pregnant so I feel I'm "doomed" as far as future pregnancies go.

I'm trying to let it go. I'm trying to not worry about controlling it. I'm trying to remember how Jesus calmed the wind and the waves, and how even before he calmed them, he was with the disciples and therefore, they had no reason to worry.

Tooth Tales

I've been neglecting this blog for a while but for very good reason. It's hard for me to do anything that requires much thought when a tooth is causing waves of intense pain on one side of my face. That was my experience this week.

It began last week with some sudden aches in my jaw. They didn't last long, so I didn't worry too much. By Monday, I had decided it was getting worse, more frequent and that I should probably go see the dentist. I knew for sure one tooth that was contributing to the pain, but I began to worry that there were other teeth that also had some problems (I don't have the greatest dental health history, you see).

I got into the dentist early Tuesday morning (with Edwin in tow). They weren't exactly sure what the cause was, so they referred me to the endodontist (who I was going to go to months ago because of one specific tooth that I should've had a root canal on almost two years ago - but a move and pregnancy got in the way of that). I called for an appointment and was told the earliest was a week later.

When the pain increased soon after that, I called back asking if they had any emergency openings. I was prepared to be assertive. Otherwise, I would have fed Edwin nothing but dry cereal for a week, and Dan would've had to get take-out for supper. I endured natural childbirth, and this pain was much worse. Mostly because I knew I wasn't getting a sweet cuddly baby out of it. And I think I'm a wimp when it comes to mouth pain.

Anyway, long story short, I went in (again with Edwin in tow), they did an x-ray, saw some inflammation, and suggested I come in the next day. Sounded good to me.

A friend watched Edwin while I went in for what is normally a procedure a little over an hour. It wasn't too bad. The worst part is the sound of the drills. I kept trying to watch what they were doing in the reflection of the microscope (except when they had the drills going), but I couldn't quite see it. Oh, well.

Unfortunately, my tooth wouldn't get totally numb because of the inflammation, so they took care of the main and I have to go back in about a week to get the procedure finished. Thankfully the aching pain is gone and I can function again.

The tale almost ends there. This troublesome tooth has a crown on it. They had removed the crown, drilled and dug around, and then replaced it using some weak cement so it would pop off easily next time. Well it popped off while eating dinner. So I had to go back in yesterday (again with Edwin) so they could cement it back on.

Hopefully all will be calm from here on out. And one good thing is that the searing pain and multiple trips to the dentist and endodontist all happened after Dan's and my Valetine's dinner date.

Probably more than you cared to read, but this is what's been filling my days lately.

Take care of those teeth!