Edwin looked pretty cute as he was playing with a dump truck this afternoon so I thought I'd try a snap a few pictures. You can see for yourself how successful I was.

All he really wanted was the camera. So we settled for a picture together.

But what's really been on my mind today is my frustration with my lack of control when it comes to feeling nervous whenever my blood pressure is taken. Remember when I posted about having "white coat syndrome" while pregnant? Well, it's basically hung around. Now I find myself getting nervous just thinking about having my blood pressure taken. Two doctor visits post-delivery included nervousness and high readings. And I even had Dan take it last night because I wanted to see how it would be, and I found myself getting nervous, and it was a bit high.

I'd hoped it would all disappear after Edwin's birth. Well, it hasn't. It seems like it's here to stay, and it makes me feel ridiculous and as though I'm "failing" in some way. (I try to be perfect, you know. Or at least appear perfect.) Blood pressure is one of those things they worry about when you're pregnant so I feel I'm "doomed" as far as future pregnancies go.

I'm trying to let it go. I'm trying to not worry about controlling it. I'm trying to remember how Jesus calmed the wind and the waves, and how even before he calmed them, he was with the disciples and therefore, they had no reason to worry.

Tooth Tales

I've been neglecting this blog for a while but for very good reason. It's hard for me to do anything that requires much thought when a tooth is causing waves of intense pain on one side of my face. That was my experience this week.

It began last week with some sudden aches in my jaw. They didn't last long, so I didn't worry too much. By Monday, I had decided it was getting worse, more frequent and that I should probably go see the dentist. I knew for sure one tooth that was contributing to the pain, but I began to worry that there were other teeth that also had some problems (I don't have the greatest dental health history, you see).

I got into the dentist early Tuesday morning (with Edwin in tow). They weren't exactly sure what the cause was, so they referred me to the endodontist (who I was going to go to months ago because of one specific tooth that I should've had a root canal on almost two years ago - but a move and pregnancy got in the way of that). I called for an appointment and was told the earliest was a week later.

When the pain increased soon after that, I called back asking if they had any emergency openings. I was prepared to be assertive. Otherwise, I would have fed Edwin nothing but dry cereal for a week, and Dan would've had to get take-out for supper. I endured natural childbirth, and this pain was much worse. Mostly because I knew I wasn't getting a sweet cuddly baby out of it. And I think I'm a wimp when it comes to mouth pain.

Anyway, long story short, I went in (again with Edwin in tow), they did an x-ray, saw some inflammation, and suggested I come in the next day. Sounded good to me.

A friend watched Edwin while I went in for what is normally a procedure a little over an hour. It wasn't too bad. The worst part is the sound of the drills. I kept trying to watch what they were doing in the reflection of the microscope (except when they had the drills going), but I couldn't quite see it. Oh, well.

Unfortunately, my tooth wouldn't get totally numb because of the inflammation, so they took care of the main and I have to go back in about a week to get the procedure finished. Thankfully the aching pain is gone and I can function again.

The tale almost ends there. This troublesome tooth has a crown on it. They had removed the crown, drilled and dug around, and then replaced it using some weak cement so it would pop off easily next time. Well it popped off while eating dinner. So I had to go back in yesterday (again with Edwin) so they could cement it back on.

Hopefully all will be calm from here on out. And one good thing is that the searing pain and multiple trips to the dentist and endodontist all happened after Dan's and my Valetine's dinner date.

Probably more than you cared to read, but this is what's been filling my days lately.

Take care of those teeth!

You know the old poem that goes like this?

"Wash on Monday
Iron on Tuesday
Mend on Wednesday
Churn on Thursday
Clean on Friday
Bake on Saturday
Rest on Sunday"

I've been thinking about it lately, because I've decided to try designating certain large chores for certain days of the week. When I worked full-time, cleaning and laundry was all done on Saturday, but that was back before Edwin, and I haven't cleaned the whole house and done all the laundry in one day for a long time.

I've been doing laundry on Mondays for months now. I still sometimes have to do a mid-week load or two (diapers are in a league of their own - they get done every-other-day so I'm not referring to them), but for the most part, I save laundry for Monday. And really, we have enough clothing that we don't need to wash more often than once a week.

So each week, our laundry was getting done, but I began to notice that a lot of time would pass between cleanings, and I kept thinking I want to get back to baking bread, and I wanted to be more organized in my grocery shopping (and now that we have a 2nd car, I don't have to work that around Dan's schedule) and so on.

Here's what I've come up with:

Wash on Monday (and water plants)
Bake on Tuesday (and fold/put away all that wash from Monday)
Clean on Wednesday
Socializing & Menu Planning on Thursday (mom's group that day 1x a month, story time @ the library, etc)
Groceries on Friday
Anything Else on Saturday
Rest on Sunday

These aren't hard and fast. For example, if a friend and I decide to get together on Wednesday, then I might still do some cleaning that needs to be done (like the bathroom) and then just do the rest on Thursday. Basically, these can all be swapped and changed as needed. Edwin and I went and hung out at a friend's house yesterday morning and I just did laundry before and after. I won't totally limit myself to this schedule, but maybe now I'll just remember that if I don't do something that one day, I need to fit it in somewhere.

This is only week #2 of all of this, so it might fly out the window pretty quickly, but I like having some sort of general framework. It's the teacher in me.

Here's a little video of Edwin, in honor of him now being 10 months old.

Voices in My Head

While Edwin gets his pre-nap exercise (this mean standing in his crib and trying oh-so-hard to reach the stuff on a nearby shelf before laying down and falling asleep), I thought I'd finally update you on some of my latest thoughts.

And before you get too worried about that title, let me explain.

One of the benefits of having children later than many of your friends is that you get to hear others' advice, thoughts and methods. Then you get to sift through them and decide which to keep and which to throw out.

My problem, however, is that whenever I come upon a tricky situation (like a little boy who wakes up in the middle of the night randomly when I am not used to this at all since he started sleeping 10 hours a night at 6 weeks) I suddenly am assuaged by all these "voices" saying I should do "this" or "that". Not real voices, of course, but just what I think others would say "should" be done. You know, that parenting book says do "this" or that person would do "this" certain thing. It's quite annoying actually, and not helpful.

So I've found that I have to make sure to follow some of the best parenting advice I read since becoming a parent.

Be quiet, pray, listen to your intuition and go with that. Not follow something some one else said to do in a certain situation, but try to be focused on what the need is at the moment and what the true solution is. Not just what some "expert" says.

That advice has been encouraging and helpful. And peaceful. I should say that I do like to hear what the "experts" recommend and I don't necessarily think they're always wrong (at least, not the ones I agree with), but I find that I need to make sure I don't let myself get mentally bombarded with what everyone else says - or what I think they say.

So I was thinking about all of this after Edwin woke up crying twice last night. I think I finally figured out the problem (and it may have originated with that orange slice he had at lunch...) and helped him feel better.

Nothing about parenting so far makes me feel more inadequate than when Edwin wakes up randomly at night and I have little to no idea why. So I try to take that advice to stop, pray, listen and then act.

Random Musings

I taught my first class at Spool last Saturday, braving the snow and driving to Philly while Dan watched Edwin. All went well. I only had to sit at a student's sewing machine one time (and pretend I was making the project) in order to make sure I was giving correct instructions. It was a class of 7 women. Mostly my age or younger, and it was fun, fun, fun. The snow out side made it all the more cozy. All successfully finished their zippered pouch in the 2 hours we had.

I am a cold weather person as opposed to a hot weather person. I would much rather bundle up in layers and walk down a cold, windy street than break into a sweat when merely walking down the same street because the sun is so hot.

Sometimes I can't quite believe that I'm already on my way to being 32 and I've only just had my first child.

I used to think I was totally an unstructured, spontaneous person, but as time goes on, I find that I'm a little more "type A" than I thought. Either teaching did that to me or it's something that is growing along with my age. I really like having a routine (not a hard-and-fast schedule, mind you) to my days and weeks. Laundry day is Monday; we tend to do things in the same order when at home all day, etc. However, I always like having some planned unstructured time that I can spontaneously decide to fill in one way or another, but that isn't filled ahead of time. Does that make sense? Structured spontaneous time?

I can't believe how much more time I spend online now compared to just 2 years ago. I have blogs that I read regularly.

As I think about having more children, I realize that I'm not at all opposed to hiring help, if necessary (especially if we continue to live relatively far from family). This has partially been shaped by my experiences as a nanny for two different families, our time spent in Zambia where we had "house help" and by the stories of friends who have many children. Growing up in the culture and community I did, I recognize an attitude of it being a luxury (which I guess it is) and of it somehow meaning that you're doing something wrong if you need help. You know, strong work ethic, able to do any and every thing that needs to be done, etc., etc. And yet, if you don't have family nearby whom you feel free to call on to help, what should you do? Struggle on your own? Out of pride? Because society says women should be able to do it all on their own? Everyone needs a support network (i.e. help) and if that includes hiring someone, I'm all for it.

I just finished a crocheted hat that has a little brim. For me.

I'm really enjoying the friendships I'm making through a local MOPS group I attend.

I've been online long enough tonight.

9 Months

Today marks Edwin's 9th month.

It's not been his happiest day, unfortunately, but I don't plan to dwell on that in this post.

Some of his recent accomplishments include:

Crawling on hands and knees. He used to primarily do the "army crawl" but I hardly see him do that anymore. He really just got the knack of crawling within the past week or so.

Along with crawling, he's figured out how to pull himself into a standing position, and he first did that in his crib. I think he now spends a portion of time standing up in his crib at the beginning of nap time (and sometimes bedtime...such as right now, possibly), but so far I've only had to rescue him once from a position he fell into and couldn't roll out of.

Let's see, along with standing up he's also discovered that he can reach the cereal boxes, the basket of letters, some books and folders beside the letters and my piles of fabric which he explored for the first time today. (Can you tell I haven't totally "baby proofed"?)

His social interactions continue to be mostly fun and cheerful. He is becoming more opinionated and outspoken these days too. (I'm trying to take that in stride...)

We're thankful for this little guy!!

Six Years

While waiting to see if Edwin falls asleep this morning, I figured I'd take some time to post. Today marks 6 years since Dan and I got married! Congratulations to us, Dan!

New Year's Eve, Friday night, 5pm on the dot (sorry for all of you who arrived a little late and had to walk in after me...punctuality is a Mennonite virtue we decided to uphold that evening).

We'd dated for 5 years, (minus a few months) and were engaged for one. Most of our dating years were spent long-distance, including 1 year on different continents where we didn't see each other for a year and a day. During those long years of dating, I remember thinking: "Someday this will all be behind us, and we'll have been married for 5 years, and this time of waiting will seem so far away." And now we've passed that point by a year, and life together seems so normal, it is strange to remember back when we weren't married, when life didn't include each other in the way it does now.

Here are a few pictures for fun.

Shock Trauma Christmas Party
2000 or 2001?

Dan visited me at college after returning from Swaziland

Fall 2003

Our engagement picture
Early 2004

Summer 2004 - Engaged
We both wore our wedding bands on our right hands instead of me wearing a diamond

Peach Pie Yumminess
Fall 2005

Wesley & Buttercup
Fall 2006
Family Wedding
Summer 2007

Motorcycling
Summer 2008

Returned from Zambia
Spring 2009

Med School Graduation
Spring 2009

New Family
Christmas 2010